November 25, 2007
Well, taking a two mile walk is one way to fight the blues, I guess. I have been pretty miserable all day, due to the fact that today is actually Jesse’s Grandmother’s birthday, not the 27th, and so we were hoping she would be born on this day and unless something spectacularly graphic happens within the next 45 minutes or so and my labor is actually cut in half compared to my labor with The Girlie, I don’t think it’s happening today.
So, I’ve been in a funk.
Jesse has been really supportive. I hadn’t actually talked to him much about everything I’d written in my last entry because, despite how it reads, I know that a good 95% of my feelings are extremely irrational. I’ve been trying, every damn day, to keep myself positive and upbeat, but it is really frustrating that I’m pretty much just depressed at this point and snapping my fingers and saying “I should feel better”, isn’t doing the trick.
(Also, I pretty much blew what I said at the end of my last entry about my being impressed with the fact that I’ve been pretty civil, despite my craptastic mood. When we showed up at my Grandmother’s house for dinner, the first thing anyone said to me was my sister-in-law asking: “You haven’t had that baby yet?” To which I replied with a very bitchy “Obviously not.” Which of course, offended her and she told my brother and so they were both very short with me all day, which I’m sure if I weren’t nine months pregnant and dealing with a lot of crap on my own I would care about, but right now, I just don’t. It would be nice if my own family could give me a little bit of concession when I’m actually in a bad mood, seeing as how it doesn’t happen all that often anymore and again, I’m nine months pregnant.)
So, as I said, I actually talked to Jesse yesterday about how I’ve been feeling and him, being the great support that he is, has been extre attentive and being extra gentle with me. Which really helps.
This morning, since The Girlie is with The Ex, Jesse took me to see “No Country For Old Men”, which was pretty good. Afterwards we did lunch, then came home so he could start a turkey going. (We didn’t get much in the way of turkey leftovers on Thursday, and we both enjoy turkey sandwiches, so he just decided to cook his own turkey today.)
Once the bird was in the oven to a point that he could actually leave it, he went on a two mile walk with me. Not as much going on in the contraction department as I had hoped, after that, but I am feeling much better mentally. I have been keeping active quite a bit over the past few weeks, but making the effort to actually take an official walk (rather than just running errands, or cleaning or something) is something I should be striving for every day. I know the benefits of it all, I just haven’t been making a point to do an actual walk because I have been so busy with cleaning and running errands and shopping, etc. I was looking at activity as activity and that probably needs to change at this point.
So, I’m feeling a little better, and hoping that I can keep that mood going for a while now.
One of the very positives about where we are, timeline wise, is the fact that Thanksgiving week is over, so A) The Ex’s schedule, while still crazy because it’s holiday season, isn’t as much of a landmine as it was last week, what with Black Friday and all; and B) All of my back-ups are actually back in town. So, those are two less stressors for me to deal with. I can still see the good in things!